Change is worth it: a message to my younger self

When I was younger, I remember feeling… lost.

I worried about my future. Everything was the end of the world. I was always devastated about a stupid boy. I laid on my blue carpet and listened to sad songs and cried. A lot.

I went to college and tried on new styles (hello, emo Jackie), new personalities, new friends. I still had no idea who I was.

I got married young. I had kids young. I changed a ton every year until I was in my 30’s. I got divorced. I finally started to figure out who Jackie is…

And I am still on that journey today.

Now, I’m parenting a teenager and watching her go through all of these same things. She isn’t talking to me about it as much as I want her to, just like I didn’t tell my parents a dang thing. It’s the teenage way.

I try to understand. I try to be patient. I try to be kind. All of these things are hard when you’re dealing with a teenager.

So, I figured I would write a letter to my younger self so I can remember what it’s like to be in her shoes.

Here’s what I would say to my younger self:

You will figure out who you are. You will become confident. Eventually you will love yourself, but it will take a long time. Keep going.

You will succeed. Just as all the good things in life do, it will take a long time. Keep working hard.

The traits that made you a pain in the butt as a child (loud, outspoken, bossy) will eventually serve you. Don’t dim your light. Keep being you.

You will find love with someone who deserves you and treats you like gold. Keep loving.

There is so much more to life than what you are feeling in this moment.

There is so much more to life than what’s behind you.

There is so much more to life than what you see directly in front of you.

It is easy to mope around, blame others, and be miserable, and it is HARD to take control and make change.

But making change is worth it.

Do the hard things.

Whatever it takes, pick your head up and keep going.

What would you tell your younger self?